Me, Undisguised

Today, 14th of December 2007, I was blessed with a little, totally unanticipated, occurrence. This small incident has left me stunned. In one quick jolt, I was made to view my life from a different perspective. I was also reminded, indirectly, that though I still have a lot to achieve, there are even more things to be thankful of. And though I have known this, I was given the chance to discover its truthfulness - that being an educator may not present me the opportunity of making big bucks, but there are a few experience of this profession that is so rare, so priceless, no money could EVER be worth it.

Last month, I was offered to teach English at KEMAS to dressmaker students (as they call themselves) during the semester holiday. It was to be a 64-hour course and the session would be divided between 3 other lecturers. I would be taking the first session. I was told that these students were weak in English, that they entered the course because they weren’t offered to go anywhere else and that they might need a lot of help. I was also informed that I would be paid, which was excellent news for me. At first, I was less than enthusiatic to teach the class - one, because I was supposed to be already on holiday at the time the class starts, and two, because I wanted a break from teaching for a while. However, since I won’t be getting any pay in December, I decided to do it for the money. I knew I wasn’t going to get much, after all, I had to teach for only 8 hours, but I was desperate. I had set my mind that it was going to be difficult - in my head I pictured several village girls who hadn’t the slightest idea of even the basics of English. Okay, so my mind was exaggerating, but hey, I have a big imagination.

And so, I accepted the offer with money in mind.

I don’t know why, but though I have a feeling that I would be paid with minimum wage, I put in a bit more effort in preparing for the class. Maybe it was the impression that my coordinator gave me about the class. She was so afraid that I would forget about it because I was in KL, she even called me a few days before the class started. She even sent me a message the night before the class to remind me of it again and also to "have fun". That part of the message was what I remembered the most - "have fun". I guess that was why I put in extra effort. Maybe. Maybe.

Since I had the first session, I had it easy because I would be starting with the basics - nouns, pronouns, articles, etc. So, there was room for a bit of games. Keeping my coordinator’s "have fun" in mind, I tried to think up of games and fun activities related to the topic I would be teaching for that day. I was thankful that, though I did a lot of last-minute preparation, I had a few ideas.

And so, I went for the first class.

As always the case, for the first class, I was nervous. Even more so because I would be dealing with students other than the ones in UiTM. I would also be trying out a totally different activity for the introduction, different from what I was used to doing. But, as the two hours progressed, I decided that the class was not too bad. It consisted of all girls. They may be weak but they seemed eager to learn and though some may be the same age as me, some even older, they were polite and happy-go-lucky. From my previous humble experience of teaching, I learned that most students feared English. These girls were no exception. Therefore, I set myself up for the task of trying harder to capture their attention by making them see that English could be fun in order to alleviate their fear of English.

The week passed quickly. Before I knew it, it was already Friday. Eight hours of teaching didn’t provide me with the chance to know them well - heck, I couldn’t even remember their names - but I truly enjoyed teaching them. We took pictures, I gave them my number and we exchanged sorry’s and thank you’s. Then, it was time for goodbye.

As I was driving back, some of the girls sent me a few messages. Most of the messages said the usual thank you’s. But there was one that really struck me. It goes something like this: ".. umur saya sama dengan cik tapi cik dah berjaya tapi saya masih tak ada apa-apa untuk dibanggakan."

‘Berjaya‘?! What?! ‘Berjaya’ is the last word I would use to describe my current condition. Suddenly, as cliched as this may sound, the past few years of my life flashed before me. Then I realized, though I have failed on several occasions, I have also achieved my fair share of accomplishments. I succeeded in getting my degree, amidst the hardship and heartbreak. I have a great family, great friends and definitely a great boyfriend. And though it’s not permanent, I got myself a job, with the help of my friends - a job that I was unsure about at first, a job that tested my level of endurance many, many times, a job that I seem to enjoy more and more of.

It took a girl, my student, to remind me of my blessings. I was so humbled by what she said. Before this, I thought I fell short of success. I was a bit depressed and angry at myself for not doing better. She made me realize that not many were as fortunate as I was, to have what I have. There’s nothing wrong with struggling for something better. But it IS wrong if you forget to be thankful for what you have now. So, like I said, I may not have a lot, but I have enough. Syukur, Alhamdulillah.

Wisdom in that short phrase was more than the wisdom I gave my students in those eight hours. If only the girl knew how much she taught me. It is things like this that makes the teaching profession priceless.